All I Hear is Noise

I never dreamed that my life would end with hearing noise, noise, noise and more noise. Tinnitus is one of the more depressing illnesses that one could have. A heart attack would be more merciful. I can't hear the phone, and when I do, I can't recognize the voice because the roaring in head distorts everything that is being said. What kind of life is this? I can't bear it much longer. What are my options? Not many! So many days I pray for death, but I am trying to hold onto life for my mother and those who love me.

There are so many people who cannot understand the mental anguish of tinnitus. Recently I saw on an ABC TV program two people with the same condition who wanted to die. One was a veteran of the Iraq War, so young but wanting to die because of this infernal noise. Another was an elderly lady who also wanted death. I felt for them because I too have that feeling. Medical science is now trying to work on putting implants in the brain to help with this condition. There is another device that plays music in your head to drown out what you are hearing with something else. The price for this device is more than $5,000, and it’s not covered by your insurance.

Why does our health care system not care about those of us who have tinnitus and the hell we live with no help? I have tried every device and pill imaginable, and the only one I can come up with is an overdose of a narcotic. I am writing this to sublimate my feelings. I would like to get out of the house, but I get tired of not hearing the World around me. All I hear is me. I pray to God to help me. Take me home so I can be relieved from this torment!