Women and HIV: Can you ask him to use a condom?

Recently, I had a conversation with a colleague who, upon learning that I was now working at a health magazine which features HIV/AIDS news and information, started a discussion about the unrealistic idea that women could simply ask their partner to use a condom. Married for over 25 years, my colleague said even in her long-lived relationship she could not ask her husband to use a condom. Furthermore, she said, the first thing a man wants to know when a woman asks him to use a condom is, "Why, are you f***king someone else?" On the extreme side, she said, depending on the man involved, a woman puts herself at risk for a beatdown with this kind of question. "I mean, is a cop gonna be there to enforce the man using a condom?" she asked. After thinking about it for a minute, I had to admit that she had something there. At the very least, HIV/AIDS educators need to be sensitive to the realities facing women who have been socialized to always put themselves last in their relationships with others. Found a really great website which is like a one-stop center with information on HIV and real-life stories from women who are living with the disease. If you don't know anything about HIV...or even if you do, check out this site . It's informative, educational and, most of all, inspiring. Would love to get other people's opinions...