Has Kids But Prefers Multiple Dates

I'm a 45-year-old mother of two teenaged children, one girl and one boy, ages 14 and 15, respectively. I'm very concerned about their reaction to me dating and having sexual relationships with men. My concern stems from the fact that I am more interested in seeing multiple partners. It may seem hypocritical, but I'd prefer that my kids not think casual sex is OK—at least not at their age. How do I keep my lifestyle from affecting them without having to skulk around in the shadows?

A: It is not easy being a single parent with teenage children trying to get back in the dating scene. You say that you are concerned about their reactions to you dating and having sexual relationships with men. You also say that you are interested in having multiple partners. I have a question for you. Why are you discussing your sexual relationships with your children? It's one thing for your children to see you going out with different men, but it's another for them to know what you are doing with these men. Even parents have a right to privacy. You do not have to tell your children everything you do. Is it hypocritical? Not necessarily. What is appropriate for adults may be appropriate for children.

You have a dilemma in that you find nothing wrong with multiple partners and casual sex for yourself, but you don't want your children to share your views. Why not? You have a perfect opportunity to have an important discussion with your children about your values and helping them develop standards by which they can live. There is nothing wrong with having multiple partners if that is what you want. How can you keep your lifestyle from affecting them? You can't. No parent can. Whatever your lifestyle, your children will be affected by it.