Subscribe to this blog's feedQ: A coworker of mine is a very nice man, but he is a little on the touchy-feely side. I honestly think he feels his neck rubs are innocent, but part of me feels I should say something to him just on G.P. I am reluctant, however, to create any unnecessary tension in our relationship, especially if his intentions are just to be friendly. Any advice you could give would be appreciated.
A: It doesn’t make any difference what he might think about his neck rubs. His behavior is making you uncomfortable and if any unnecessary tension is being brought to you and your relationship with this coworker, he is the one bringing it. You need to tell your coworker in very clear unambiguous terms how his neck rubs are making you feel. And if he says that he did not mean anything by it, then you have provided him with a great service. You have given him feedback about his behavior. He might have been unaware as to how others perceive his “innocent” neck rubs. At any rate, this type of behavior in the workplace would most likely be considered inappropriate or even sexual harassment. Perhaps it would be better for him to hear it from you rather than through a complaint filed by another coworker. In the future, if something doesn’t seem right to you, trust your feelings. Too many of us endure negative situations because we don’t want to “rock the boat” or potentially hurt someone’s feelings. Don’t let embarrassment get in the way of you doing what is in your best interests.
