I want to get married, but she’s stalling.

Dear Dorthy,
I have been in an eight-year relationship with a woman and have been engaged to her for seven of those years. She still has yet to give me a wedding date. I have tried to talk to her about it once every six months, but we always get into a big fight about it. I’m 42 and she is 38. We used to live together until about one year ago. Now, we just spend weekends together. We have no kids together. I have a son from a previous relationship and he is 14. To me, it just seems as though I’m standing by waiting for her to agree to get married.

A: It sounds like you have already figured out the true answer long ago, but your denial defense mechanism has interfered and prevented you from accepting the reality of this overlong engagement. Your partner seems to have other plans, which doesn’t include a commitment to marry you. Enough time has already passed. It’s time to move on and find yourself a partner who has your best interests at heart, is compatible with you and is sensitive to your needs.