Physical abuse, will he change?

Q: My husband and I recently separated because of an incident of physical abuse, which grew out of verbal abuse that had been escalating for almost a year. He wants to reunite, but I told him that he’d need to undergo therapy so he could learn to control his quick temper, which is at the core of our problem. What I am wondering, however, is how likely is a batterer (even one who hit you only once) to change? I’d rather be safe than sorry.

A: With the right therapy, anything is possible. There’s no definitive answer, however, regarding whether or not your husband will physically abuse you again. But the impact of any verbal abuse or single physical incident of violence in any relationship should not be underestimated. You’re on the right track to suggest to your husband that he get help before reuniting with him. That was an excellent idea; and, for starters, anger management is in order. If you’re interested in exploring violence against women, the Internet has great articles. Two to check out are realhealthmag.com (search “domestic abuse”) and healthywomen.org.