My son thinks I should not be dating.

Q: After years of being out of the dating loop, I found the courage to get back into the social scene once more. The only problem that I have encountered so far is that my 14-year-old son has shown some hostility because of my actions. He sees me as his mother and not much else. What will it take for me to convince him that “mom” needs her own life?

A: Here’s food for thought. When single parents date, children may have concerns about what this new relationship means to a parent personally and how this new person may affect their life at home. They may ask themselves the following questions: Is another parent going to be taken from me? Will my ties with my biological dad be threatened? Will my mother have less time for me since she has a new boyfriend? And if this new person does become a live-in partner, will he intrude on my living space? This type of fear and unanswered questions can be overwhelming and very difficult for a 14 year old to comprehend, especially when he’s used to having you all to himself. You may feel less guilty about dating and get your son to become less hostile if you make it clear to your child that your mother-son relationship is not going to change. If your relationship with the new person in your life starts to look permanent, however, then it’s time for the person you’re dating to reach out to your son in a non-threatening manner. If your son doesn’t come around and he’s still behaving in a hostile manner or acting out more than usual, then you may need to seek professional help to assist all of you through this difficult adjustment period. Your son must learn to accept that his mother is a single parent and she’s going to date with or without his approval.